The 'empty nest syndrome' is for real as I sit to pen these few words. It has been a busy weekend minding the house and completing my task in view of the coming 'high stake MBBS examinations' and preparing the the lectures I am scheduled to give to professional bodies till the end of the year.
Sustenance and mental drive are essential to complete the job; both of which I seem to lag behind as I touch 63 years of age. Vivid flight of ideas seem to percolate through my mind severely disturbing my focus. My mind runs back to the early years at the university and I am reminded about the infatuation with a university mate for a few months; work schedeule and the lack of finances helped me keep those thoughts remain 'virtual' till she moved on to more reponsive parties!
Viewing old Indian movies on TV brings me back to the days when I used to fall in 'love' with every other actress from the time I was eight years of age till early secondary school! The intense emotive cry of the lead lady and the sterotype dressing they adorned made the saree remain an unmatched garment impacting me so deeply that I built within my mind the ideal wife I would want!
Time has flown by and I am still trying to keep the mind intact by actively being involed in intellectual activities. Apart from the daily work at the medical college I am reminded of the joy of reading , a habit both my daughter and son seem to find joy in. Last year William Dalrymple's 'City of Djinns' was sent to me for my birthday.
Quoting the author's very words' if poetry, music and elephant fights were the preferred amusemnets of the court, the humbler folk of the age of Safdarjung had their patridges'. Basically the story depicts the life of the last Moghul ruler of India.
Poetry is indeed a means of communication through words which have within them rhyme and rythmn. Like an artist trying to display his thoughts and perceptions in colour, the poet uses vocabulary and sentences to express his views and feelings. To keep my mind from idling and to relax it in times of stress I too try to write in poetic words, but clearly I can see the limitations and frustrations.
What is the relevance of quoting a Scottish author writing a fiction based on Indian history and attempting to explain what poetry is in simplistic words? Well, such thoughts makes us ponder on differing means of communication, the spice of life is in making presentations complex so that the hidden meaning can be explored.
As I read the newpapers, books and scholastic articles in medical journals, authors appear to express their thoughts and views, skewed or otherwise. The point is made and thoughts expressed. The reader is left to surmise and contend with the conclusions and information. Won't that awaken the idle mind? It is with that primary purpose I started this blog.
I tried to complete a task given to me on ' the overactive bladder' a malady postmenopuasal women suffer from, last week. The job got more complex when I was also assigned to lecture on the same conditon to some professionals. Two weeks of power point preparations, writing an abstract at short notice to the organisers of the confernece and generating a full scientific article for another scolastic journal exhausted me so much that I allowed myself to drop the urgency in submitting last month's article for the blog.
Father's day last week was spent with my wife giving me a lunch treat with another couple in a nearby hotel. That same day phone calls from the children expressing their good tidings followed and a wonderful card from my daughter from Edinburgh , appropriately entitled "Lord of the Manor" - I left to water the plants in the garden after reading her message!.
The next day a gift followed and this time it was Michael Fitzgerald's 'Adolf Hitler: A Potrait'. My keen interest in biographies of leaders made this timely gift appropriate so as to complete my collections over the years. Although Hitler is the most hated human after the Second World War, few would deny the rise of an Austrian having failed to get into the Art Academy in Vienna to lead modern Germany, having left school at the age of 16 ( wanting to be an artist!) The book puts in perpective what leadership is about and what it means to be a team builder. Although Hitler never had any formal education beyond the said age , he was a ferocius reader and compensated his intllectual deficiency through listening and undersatnding the principles of socialism. What made him what he grew up to be, has to reflect on the hardship of his early life (see Mein Kempf). He is probably the earliest of national leaders who promoted the 'green environment philosophy and ensuring agriculture should be a sustainable project in Germanay (and that saved many from shortage of food).
Always a shy person in private and with several failures in his personal relationship with the four women mentioned in the book, he proved to be a great orator who used this asset to the best in moving the crowds. I am in no position to speak more in glorifying him, as the holocaust that was seen during his days cannot be forgotten and will always remind us that when power overwhelms an individual common sense fails to prevail.
The growing unrest in the Middle East appears not to be aborting as people cannot tolerate leaders who fail in maintaining democracy. When Egypt saw the fall of Hosni Mubarak, I am reminded of the role of 'guided democracy' prophezed by Indonesia's Sukarno. State control does little to keep peace and involving the people in the management of the goverment is paramount.
The midlife crisis is not about one's self and his abilty to cope with the daily tasks and stresses alone, but his concerns if the world is a safe place to live in. Responsible goverments will gauge the people's needs and that's what makes countries 'developed'. I should not be concerned about the welfare of my family and the healthcare of me and my community after years of paying income tax as that becomes the responsibilty of the establishment. If that is so, I will need to develop strategies to deal with my emotive and coping abilitites through senior ciizen's facilitites that are made available within the community.
Let's pray the govenment of the day would make education, healthcare and the wellbeing their people their responsibility the world over.
Sivalingam Nalliah
4th july 2010
